I want to clean my teeth. I eye Christian’s toothbrush. It would be like having...– - Fifty Shades of Grey WHAT THE FUCK IS ALL THIS
Things I have done so far in Mexico: At customs, they determine whether or not they’re going to search your bag by having you press a button. If the light turns green, you’re free to go. If it turns red, they search you. I’m not joking. Suckered Ben into carrying my very heavy duffle bag with an unpadded strap across the airport terminal and through three Metro stations while I...
Oh, but this is not a matter of “glorifying” obesity. Glorifying obesity would...– http://www.fatshionista.com/ (via ellielamothe)
A RUSH AND A PUSH AND THE LAND IS OURS
In 24 hours, I’ll be in Mexico, land of beauty, contrast, and an unhealthy interest in Morrissey’s solo catalog. Things to do before then: - Pack. Due to my fetish for to-do lists and other bureaucratic trappings, I already have everything noted down; I just need to gather them and cram them into my duffel bag. - Determine if duffel bag is culturally insensitive. Apparently retailers...
Nothing will change. There’s no way out. You’ll die – and start all over, live twice, Everything repeats itself, just as it was.
THE POLITICS OF FILTH
Today I kick off the Memorial Day gala weekend with a John Waters mini film fest, hosted by yours truly because my colleagues have neither seen any of his films nor even heard of the guy. I’ll be lulling them into a false sense of security with the PG-rated Hairspray!, then pulling out the vodka and showing the scatologically-delightful Pink Flamingos. Tomorrow, I’ll be making my...
US Media: Is the Mayan 2012 prophecy the end of the world? The Mayans were once a people that believed many things when they were around--
Mayans: Hey guys.
Mayans: What the hell have you guys been smoking? We're kind of still here as a major presence in Mesoamerica, guys.
Mayans: That "End of the world prophecy" is some white nonsense.
Mayans: Y'all are weird.
When an out-of-towner corrects your pronunciation...
wheninatl: Luckily, I spent years in Florida honing my mispronunciation of “Ponce.” I have an Argentinean friend who lives here, and when he first arrived he told the taxi driver to take him to his new place off “Pon-ce” and the guy had no clue what he was talking about.
Me and my internet-pal Choo are going to be making shirts documenting all the possible fuckups of modern life. We’ll be beginning a ridiculous Twitter campaign and producing some awesome prototypes when I return from Mexico in July.